Finding that balance

I think most of you know that I'm diabetic. For those of you that didn't, you do now. (Smile) Anyway, it takes a lot to balance weight loss with control of blood sugar and it hasn't been going so well lately.

I'm really struggling with weight loss these days. I looked back at my older posts, clear back to January 11th, when I set a goal of 25 pounds by Easter. Well, Easter has come and gone and I'm still posting and hoping for that next 25 pounds. I'm very close and when I think if it that way it seems better than to think that I haven't even lost 25 pounds since January. The year is fast approaching half over, one more month and we will be there.

I went to the Doctor yesterday because my blood sugar levels have actually been getting worse rather than better. The last week I've had blood sugar levels as high as 366 and none below 300. For those of you not familiar with diabetes, my blood sugar should be between 80 and 120. Not good! It was determined that the new medicine (from last fall) is not working. Not really a big surprise there, but more of a mystery as to why it has taken so long for my blood sugar to get bad. The only thing the Doc could come up with is that I had enough of the old medicine in my system that it took a while for the blood sugar levels to elevate and with my weight loss I was able to stretch that out until now. For the most part I guess that's right, but my bad attitude says, "WHATEVER".

It's frustrating to think a person can lose 89 pounds and still have to be on 3 medications to control blood sugar. The positive side is that I'm not on insulin, YET! The Doctor mentioned that awful word yesterday, but I get to try a new oral medicine before having to consider insulin.

The good news is that I was able to drop my blood sugar 100 points overnight just by taking one dose. That too will slow up and my blood sugars will gradually go down (we hope). Between the high blood sugars and the low weight loss, my bad attitude has really picked up. I guess I'm just venting. I'm trying to get all of this frustration out so I can get back to focusing on my goals.

It's very hard to stay positive. I've been at this a year and I'm so close to the 100 pound mark - but I just can seem to stay focused. I want to get there but you wouldn't know it by the way I've been eating the last 2 weeks. I can't explain it. I know what I need to do, I know what I shouldn't do, yet I keep tricking myself into believing that one little piece of chocolate or that extra handful of potato chips isn't going to hurt me, but in reality it isn't helping either. This week was a 0 (zero). I didn't lose anything and I didn't gain anything. To me, it's a week lost. I can't get it back, I don't get a do over and then with the added "blood sugar" thing I seem to be getting a little frustrated.

I hate complaining, but this blog helps me vent and I decided not to worry about it, because as readers you can just skip over my whining. I'm going to set some goals this weekend. I'm going to re-evaluate and start over. I'm changing up my blog and removing some of the stuff. I need a change. I need to mix it up. I need to get my bum in gear and get serious about my weight loss. So, now you know why the changes. Hang in there with me. I'll get back on track and thanks to all of you for your positive reinforcement. I need all the help and encouragement I can get.